my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Turkey Balls

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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