Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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