What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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