the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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How old are you? 7

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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