What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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