a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops