Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops