A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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