Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...