How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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