What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

A miserable man committed suicide.

why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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