Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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