Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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