Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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