Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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the WNBA.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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