Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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