What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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