Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Gustavo Andrade

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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