- Anti Joke

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

pobody's nerfect

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.