Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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