the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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