Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops