What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops