why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops