drugs.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops