I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Ross.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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My cat just died.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops