What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

"Knock knock." "Come in."

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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