What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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