An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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