Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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