Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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guess what? bannanas

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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