what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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