Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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