What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Why Because

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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Lacrosse

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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cheese

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Jasper sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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