Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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