- Anti Joke

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Walk Into The Bakery "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

Justin Bieber

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops