A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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