How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Jesus Christ

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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