It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Anti - Jokes. com

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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