Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops