Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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