What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops