y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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who else is on here?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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