roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Dumb

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops