What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops