what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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diarrhea.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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