My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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