Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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