why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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star wars kid

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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