Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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