Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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