Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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