Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

25

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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