Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Jesus Christ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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