my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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